When people think about divorce, they often frame the question as, “Should I leave?” It’s an understandable place to start but it may not be the most useful.

Many of us harbor the belief that we should be who others—society, friends, or our families—expect us to be.

Behind many conflicts is a boundary that has not been clearly recognized or consistently upheld—either by the person setting it or by the person on the other side. Consider this common scenario.